I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
