Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
