I just saw a hot homeless man
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
