I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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