i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
