True but thats because hes a fetus.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
