only if we run a train.
done.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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