I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
