Jerry, you need to find god
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
