Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
