Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
