No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
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