i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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