just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
