if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize