dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
