just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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