It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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