I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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