shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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