Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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