We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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