if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
