You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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