Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
