Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I came so hard my ears popped.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
