You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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