just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
