She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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