Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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