i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Pants are for mortals
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
