How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I supernannyed him into submission
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
