Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
