dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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