spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
