ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
