You really coming over, don't trick.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
