tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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