The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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