all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
