Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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