Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
