I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
