Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
