Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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