Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
