I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
