the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
