Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
