He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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