cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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