Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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