I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
