Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The air was thick with penises
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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