this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
