At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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