well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
