dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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