I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
