Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
