I wish I only lived at night.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
