dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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