I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
