Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
