Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
