pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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