Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
