I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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