i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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