She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
is it fun? or sober?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
