If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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