Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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